• Fear of commitment after divorce is a common feeling among those who have experienced the end of a marriage.
It’s not uncommon to feel scared about committing again after going through such an emotionally draining experience. You’re like, “I just got out of one relationship that didn’t work, do I really want to go down this road again?” The answer might be no for some people and that’s okay!
• This fear can stem from various sources, including past traumas or negative experiences with relationships.
Maybe you were cheated on in your last marriage or had trust issues before even getting married. These types of past traumas can definitely make it harder to commit again because you don’t want history repeating itself (cue Cher singing).
• Some people may feel overwhelmed by the idea of starting over and building new connections with someone else.
Dating apps? Swiping left and right? Meeting their family?! It can all seem daunting when you’ve been out of the game for a while. But hey, at least now there are more options than just meeting someone at a bar…not that there’s anything wrong with that approach either!
• The fear of being hurt again can also contribute to this reluctance to commit.
Who wants their heart ripped out twice? Not me! If you’ve been burned before, it makes sense why you’d be hesitant to put yourself back into another vulnerable situation where things could potentially go south once more.
• Those who have been through a difficult divorce may struggle with trust issues and find it hard to open up emotionally in future relationships.
Trust takes time to build but if we never give anyone a chance then how will we ever know what could happen?
• Financial concerns can play a role as well, especially if one was financially impacted by their previous marriage ending.
Divorce ain’t cheap y’all! It sucks having your bank account drained due to legal fees or splitting assets so finances understandably become something people worry about when considering committing again.
• It’s important for individuals experiencing this fear to take time for self-reflection and healing before jumping into another serious relationship.
Take a moment to breathe, reflect on what you learned from your previous marriage, and focus on yourself! The more comfortable and confident you are in your own skin the easier it will be to open up emotionally with someone new.
• Therapy or counseling can be helpful in addressing these fears and working towards healthy relationship patterns.
Therapy is like going to the gym but for your brain – sometimes we need an extra push or guidance from a professional coach (aka therapist) who can help us work through our issues so we don’t bring them into future relationships.
• Fear of commitment after divorce can also be influenced by societal pressures and expectations, such as the idea that one should remarry or start a new relationship soon after their divorce.
Screw society! You do YOU boo. There shouldn’t be any pressure around how quickly or slowly someone decides they’re ready to commit again.
• Some people may feel guilty about the end of their marriage and worry about repeating past mistakes in future relationships.
It takes two tango baby! Don’t blame yourself entirely for why things didn’t work out – there were likely factors outside of just yourself that contributed too. Focus instead on learning from those experiences so history doesn’t repeat itself!
• The fear of losing independence or freedom can also contribute to this reluctance to commit again.
I mean…who wants to give up binging Netflix shows while eating pizza alone? But seriously though, being single has its perks but remember that having someone else around who loves you unconditionally has some pretty great benefits too!
• It’s important for individuals experiencing this fear to communicate openly with potential partners about their concerns and boundaries.
Communication is key y’all! If something scares you then share it with your partner because chances are they might be able to relate or at least understand where you’re coming from.
• Building trust slowly over time can help ease fears related to commitment.
Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither is trust. It takes time, patience, and consistency but it’s worth the effort when you finally get there!
• Practicing self-care and maintaining individual hobbies and interests outside of a relationship can also help alleviate some anxiety around committing again.
Don’t lose yourself just because you’ve found someone else! Keep doing things that make YOU happy so that way if something does go wrong with your partner then at least you still have those activities to fall back on.
• Those who have experienced multiple divorces may struggle even more with fear of commitment due to past patterns or experiences.
Fool me once shame on…well I guess my ex? But fool me twice (or three times) then maybe I need to reassess what went wrong each time so history doesn’t keep repeating itself.
• Seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist can provide much-needed validation and encouragement during this challenging time.
We all need our cheerleaders cheering us on through life whether it’s our best friend hyping us up before going out for drinks or our mom telling us we look great in an outfit we weren’t sure about wearing. Don’t hesitate reaching out for support when needed!
P.S. You should check out these commitment phobia books at Amazon. (affiliate link)