• Narcissists may fear commitment because they prioritize their own needs and desires above those of others.
– A narcissist is a person who believes the world revolves around them. They have an insatiable need for attention, admiration, and validation. Committing to someone means sharing that spotlight with another person – something that can be difficult for a narcissist who thinks they’re the star of the show.
• They may also fear losing control or power in a committed relationship.
– For many narcissists, being in control is everything. The thought of relinquishing any measure of control to someone else can be terrifying. In a committed relationship, both partners must make compromises and work together as equals – which doesn’t sit well with some self-absorbed individuals.
• Narcissists often struggle with empathy, which can make it difficult for them to understand the feelings and needs of their partner in a committed relationship.
– Empathy requires putting yourself in someone else’s shoes – something that goes against the very nature of narcissism. When you’re convinced that your thoughts and opinions are always right, it’s hard to see things from anyone else’s perspective.
• Their need for admiration and attention may conflict with the responsibilities and compromises that come with commitment.
– Being in a committed relationship means taking on certain roles: partner, friend, caregiver…all things that require effort beyond just basking in adoration all day long! This kind of responsibility might not jive well with somebody whose main goal is getting constant praise.
• The possibility of being vulnerable or dependent on someone else can be terrifying for narcissists who want to maintain an image of invincibility.
– Vulnerability? Dependence? These words don’t compute when you’re dealing with somebody whose whole persona rests on projecting strength at all times!
• Commitment requires trust, compromise, and emotional intimacy – all things that narcissists may have difficulty with due to their self-centered tendencies.
– Trust? Compromise? Emotional intimacy?! These are all things that require a level of selflessness and emotional maturity that many narcissists just don’t possess.
• Fear of abandonment is another common trait among narcissists; committing to someone means opening themselves up to potential rejection or abandonment.
– Narcissistic individuals have an incredibly fragile sense of self-worth. The thought of putting themselves in a vulnerable position where they might be rejected or left behind can be too much for them to handle.
• Narcissists may also fear that committing to one person means missing out on other potential sources of admiration and validation.
– When your whole identity revolves around being the center of attention, it’s hard not to worry about what you’re potentially missing out on! For some people with narcissistic traits, the idea of settling down with just one partner feels like giving up their chance at finding someone “better.”
• They may view commitment as a threat to their independence and autonomy, which they value highly.
– Independence is key when you’re dealing with somebody who thinks they’re God’s gift to humanity! Committing yourself fully to another person can feel like sacrificing your own freedom – something most narcissists aren’t willing (or able) to do.
• The idea of being accountable or responsible for someone else’s feelings can be overwhelming for narcissists who struggle with emotional regulation themselves.
– It’s hard enough regulating your own emotions when everything in life revolves around YOU. Adding the responsibility of managing somebody else’s feelings into the mix? No thanks!
• Commitment often requires compromise, sacrifice, and putting another person’s needs before your own – all things that are difficult for narcissists who prioritize their own desires above others’.
– What kind of crazy talk is this?! Putting somebody ELSE’S needs ahead of my OWN??? That goes against every fiber in my body!
• Narcissistic individuals often have an inflated sense of self-importance; the idea of sharing their life equally with someone else may not appeal to them.
– When you’re convinced that you’re better than everyone else, it’s hard to imagine ever being on equal footing with somebody! Sharing your life means admitting that somebody else is just as important as YOU – which can be a tough pill for some people with narcissistic tendencies to swallow.
• Fear of failure is another reason why some narcissists avoid commitment; if they perceive any potential challenges in the relationship, they may choose to bail rather than work through them together.
– If there’s one thing worse than admitting defeat, it’s having other people see you fail. For many individuals who struggle with narcissism, avoiding situations where they might come up short (or look bad) is paramount.
P.S. You should check out these commitment phobia books at Amazon. (affiliate link)