• A reformed commitment phobe is someone who previously struggled with committing to romantic relationships but has since worked through their fears and issues.
Imagine a person who would rather eat an entire pizza by themselves than commit to a relationship. That’s the classic image of a commitment-phobic person, or as we like to call them, “commitment cowards.” However, some people eventually realize that they want more out of life than just endless slices of pepperoni pizza. They work on themselves and address those underlying emotional issues that made them run away from love before.
• They may have sought therapy or counseling to address their commitment issues.
Therapy isn’t just for rich Hollywood celebrities anymore! In all seriousness, seeking professional help can be incredibly beneficial for anyone trying to overcome any kind of mental health issue – including fear of commitment. Talking things out with a therapist can give you valuable insights into your own behavior patterns and provide tools for managing anxiety when it comes up in future relationships.
• Reformed commitment phobes are often more cautious in new relationships, taking things slower than they might have before.
After years (or even decades) spent running away from anything resembling intimacy, don’t expect your newly-rehabilitated ex-commitment-phobe partner to suddenly jump headfirst into marriage after one date at Olive Garden. The road to recovery takes time – lots of it. But if you’re patient enough (and also really enjoy unlimited breadsticks), there’s hope yet!
• However, once they do commit, they tend to be very dedicated partners.
It turns out that people who’ve been afraid of something their whole lives are usually pretty good at avoiding it… until they’re not anymore. Once a former coward finally makes the leap into committed partnership territory, watch out! These folks will go above and beyond what most others might consider “normal” levels of devotion: surprise visits at work with flowers/chocolate, handwritten love letters delivered by carrier pigeon… you get the idea.
• It’s important for a reformed commitment phobe’s partner to understand that their past struggles with commitment were not personal and were likely based on deeper emotional issues.
If your significant other has ever told you “it’s not you, it’s me,” they might have actually been telling the truth (shocking, we know). Remember: fear of intimacy is often rooted in some kind of trauma or negative experience from earlier in life. So if your partner seems hesitant to take things to the next level – don’t panic! Just try to be understanding and supportive as they work through those lingering fears.
• Trust is key in any relationship involving a former commitment phobe.
Trust us on this one (pun intended): if there’s anything that can make or break a relationship with someone who used to run at the mere mention of monogamy, it’s trust. Building up trust takes time and effort from both partners; but once established, it can create an unbreakable bond between two people.
• Communication about expectations and boundaries can help both partners feel secure in the relationship.
We’re all adults here (well most of us anyway), which means we should be able to talk openly about our wants/needs/fears/dreams/etc. If you’re dating someone who used to freak out every time they heard wedding bells ringing nearby, having clear communication around what each person expects from the relationship will go a long way toward creating security for everyone involved.
• Reformed commitment phobes may still experience moments of anxiety or doubt about their relationship, but they are better equipped to handle these feelings.
Even after years spent working through their emotional baggage like airport luggage handlers gone rogue, former commitment-phobic folks might still find themselves feeling anxious when faced with certain situations – like meeting parents or discussing future plans together. But because they’ve put in the work to better understand themselves and their fears, they’re more likely to be able to manage those feelings when they come up.
• They often have a greater sense of self-awareness and emotional intelligence than before.
Think about it: someone who’s spent years examining why they run away from love at every turn is probably pretty good at understanding what makes them tick. As a result, reformed commitment-phobes might actually have an edge over other people when it comes to things like empathy, communication skills, or just being really good listeners.
• A reformed commitment phobe is not necessarily “cured” of their fears; it’s an ongoing process that requires effort and dedication.
It would be great if there was some kind of magical spell we could cast on ourselves (or our partners) that made us immune to all kinds of relationship-related anxiety forever… but unfortunately, life doesn’t work like Hogwarts. Even after making strides toward overcoming fear of intimacy, former cowards may still face challenges down the road. But as long as both partners are committed (ha!) to working through issues together – anything is possible!
• Some common reasons why someone might become a reformed commitment phobe include past experiences with infidelity, abandonment, or trauma in childhood.
Nobody starts out afraid of relationships for no reason! For many people who’ve struggled with committing in the past (and then worked hard to overcome those struggles), there are usually specific events from earlier in life that contributed heavily – such as cheating ex-partners or emotionally distant parents. Understanding these underlying causes can help both you and your partner navigate any bumps along the way.
• It’s important for a reformed commitment phobe to be honest with themselves and their partner about any lingering concerns or doubts they may have.
Let’s face it: nobody likes feeling vulnerable enough to admit that maybe everything isn’t sunshine-and-rainbows 24/7. But if you’re dating someone who’s been through the commitment-phobia wringer and come out on the other side, it’s crucial that they feel comfortable talking openly about any lingering doubts or concerns they might have. Honesty is always the best policy – unless your partner asks if those jeans make them look fat (in which case, lie like a rug).
• In some cases, a former commitment-phobic person may choose to remain single rather than enter into another serious relationship.
Hey, not everyone needs to be in a committed partnership to live their best life! If you’ve worked hard on yourself and still don’t feel ready for anything too serious right now – that’s totally okay. There are plenty of ways to find fulfillment without being part of a couple: travel adventures with friends, solo hobbies like painting or writing… heck even just spending quality time with your pets can bring joy and meaning to life.
P.S. You should check out these commitment phobia books at Amazon. (affiliate link)