• He has a history of short-lived relationships.
This guy is like the Goldilocks of dating, he can never seem to find someone that’s just right. Maybe it’s because he gets bored easily or maybe it’s because his fear of commitment makes him hesitant to invest too much time into any one relationship. Either way, his tendency towards short-term flings is a telltale sign that he struggles with long-term commitment.
• Whenever the topic of long-term commitment comes up, he becomes visibly uncomfortable.
If you want to see this guy squirm faster than a worm on hot pavement, bring up the idea of settling down and starting a family. His palms will start sweating, his eyes will dart around nervously, and before you know it he’ll be making excuses about needing to leave early for an imaginary dentist appointment.
• He often avoids making plans too far in advance with his partner.
You might think planning ahead would be easy as pie for someone who loves their independence as much as this guy does. But when it comes to committing to anything beyond next weekend? Forget about it! The thought alone sends shivers down his spine and leaves him scrambling for reasons why “maybe we should just play things by ear.”
• His friends and family have noticed that he tends to prioritize his independence over romantic relationships.
When your loved ones are giving you side-eye every time you bail on date night yet again in favor of hanging out with your buddies instead…it might be time for some self-reflection. This dude may not realize how obvious (and frustrating) his priorities are until those closest to him point them out.
• When asked about his future goals, marriage or settling down is never mentioned as a priority for him.
His five-year plan looks something like this: travel the world solo ✅ buy an expensive sports car ✅ get rich quick scheme TBD ❓ settle down with wife/husband/kids ❌. It’s not that he doesn’t ever want to get married or have kids, it’s just not a priority for him right now (or possibly ever).
• He may express love and affection towards his partner but struggles with taking the next step towards commitment.
This guy can talk the talk when it comes to saying “I love you” and showering his significant other with affectionate gestures. But when push comes to shove and someone starts talking about moving in together or making things official…he suddenly gets cold feet faster than an Olympic ice skater.
• The idea of being tied down or trapped in a relationship scares him more than being single does.
For this dude, nothing is scarier than feeling like he’s lost control over his own life choices. Commitment means compromise, sacrifice, and putting someone else’s needs before your own sometimes – all things that make him break out into a cold sweat at night.
• Past experiences such as heartbreak or betrayal could be contributing factors to his fear of commitment.
Maybe this guy got burned once before by an ex who cheated on him, broke up with him via text message, or stole all his Star Wars memorabilia during their messy breakup (hey, anything is possible). Whatever happened in the past has left some serious emotional scars that are still healing today.
• It’s possible that he simply hasn’t found someone who makes him feel ready to commit yet.
Sometimes people aren’t afraid of commitment so much as they’re waiting for the right person to come along who makes them feel excited about settling down. This guy might just need more time (and patience from potential partners) until he finds what he’s looking for.
• He might feel like committing means sacrificing his freedom or personal goals.
To this guy, there are few things worse than feeling trapped in one place doing one thing forever. The thought of giving up travel plans, career ambitions, or even just the freedom to come and go as he pleases can feel like a death sentence.
• It’s possible for him to overcome his fear of commitment through therapy or self-reflection, but ultimately it’s up to him to decide when (or if) he feels ready.
Commitment issues are not set in stone – with time, effort, and possibly some professional help this guy could work through his fears and start feeling more comfortable with long-term relationships. But no one can force him into making that decision before he’s truly ready.
• Pressuring someone who is afraid of commitment into making a long-term commitment can backfire and cause them to pull away even more.
Trying to push this guy into something he’s not emotionally prepared for will only make things worse in the end. He needs space, patience, understanding…and maybe a few episodes of “Queer Eye” on Netflix until he starts feeling better about opening up.
• Some people are simply wired differently than others when it comes to their readiness for commitment, and there’s nothing inherently wrong with either approach as long as both parties are honest about their expectations.
At the end of the day, everyone has different timelines for what they’re looking for in life and love. This dude might be slower at warming up than most people…but that doesn’t mean there isn’t someone out there willing to wait until he gets there (or vice versa).
P.S. You should check out these commitment phobia books at Amazon. (affiliate link)